


The Incident

by dizzywhiz



Series: Schitt's Creek-Inspired Fics [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Adapted Dialogue, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, JUST GIVE IT A TRY, M/M, it's funny, it's not like a whole pee thing, just husbands being husbands, schitt's creek inspired, so cute so fun, so silly, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzywhiz/pseuds/dizzywhiz
Summary: Kurt wets the bed.Inspired by Schitt's Creek 6x02 "The Incident" with some dialogue adapted from the episode.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Schitt's Creek-Inspired Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748908
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	The Incident

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching the opening scene from "The Incident" episode of Schitt's Creek and couldn't stop noticing how perfectly David and Patrick's banter and dynamic fit Kurt and Blaine.
> 
> And here we are.
> 
> This was written at 3 am and posted immediately so keep that in mind :-))

Kurt groaned, rubbing his hands over his face sleepily in an attempt to block out the morning light peeking through the curtains. It was too early, and he felt sweat-sticky and overheated like he always did when he woke up during the summer months (Blaine was a goddamn _furnace,_ he swore), and the cold, wet spot was making him-

Wait.

Cold. Wet. What?

“ _Whatisthat_ ,” he gasped with a jolt, startling Blaine beside him, who let out a grunt.

“Wha’s wha?” Blaine mumbled sleepily, bleary eyed, rolling over in his sleep to snuggle into Kurt with a sigh.

Oh no. _Nonono._ Keep Blaine _away_ from the wet spot.

Kurt pushed his shoulder, effectively knocking Blaine off of him, probably a little more forceful than he needed to be.

“Hey, wha’s that for?” Blaine whined. 

“S-something spilled.” Something had to have spilled. That was the only possible explanation. “Something spilled in the bed.”

“Well then clean it up,” Blaine grumbled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He yawned, smacking his lips softly before burrowing his face back into his pillow, and Kurt shot his sleeping form a secret glare. 

“Blaine, no, there’s _wet._ There’s _wet_ in the bed.” Why the _fuck_ was there wet in the bed?

“What?” 

Blaine was waking up ( _finally,_ Blaine could help him), and Kurt was beginning to panic. Wait, no. Maybe Blaine should go back to sleep. Maybe he could take care of this on his own. But what the hell even _was_ it?

He stared at Blaine.

“Well what did you spill, Kurt?” Blaine asked, beginning to pat around under the covers to find the source. _Nonono._

“Don’t _look_ for it, Blaine, I- I didn’t spill _anything.”_ There was nothing to _spill._

Kurt looked around everywhere, trying in vain to find a nonexistent cup of water that may have tipped over or _something,_ but nothing. Of course not. _Fuck._

“Well what- are you _bleeding?”_

“ _What? No,_ I’m not _bleeding,_ Blaine,” Kurt snapped, patting around to feel for the spot again. The only way it could be from _him_ is if he-

Oh no.

No.

_Nonono._

Kurt was frozen, posture rigid as he sat up in the bed. He slowly looked over towards Blaine, eyes wide, but avoided eye contact. 

He needed to get Blaine out of the bed, out of the room, _just get out of the house, Blaine,_ without him finding out what was going on. Or maybe _he_ could run, he could play it off as...as _something,_ and hop a plane far far away and change his name and yeah, it would be _really_ awful to leave Blaine after all they’d been through, to leave the life they’d built together, but this was entirely _unprecedented,_ this was _not_ in the plans, this was not something an _adult would even do,_ and-

“What is it?” Blaine asked curiously, so _innocent,_ oh god, he was about to ruin Blaine’s innocence, Blaine would never see him the same way again. He knew Blaine had to draw the line _somewhere,_ and this had to be it. _Oh god._

“Nothing,” Kurt said all too loudly. _Fuck._ “It’s nothing.”

He felt Blaine’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t bear to look over. It was such a shame, for this to be the end. Kurt really thought they’d _made it_ once and for all, rings on their fingers and a hyphenated last name and _shit,_ Kurt had to _change his name,_ Kurt had to file for divorce, and the paperwork, and dividing their belongings, and he supposed it was good they didn’t have kids yet because the custody arrangements would be so-

“ _Kurt,”_ Blaine began, tone slightly teasing. Oh god, he knew. He couldn’t know. Did he know? “Did you wet the bed?”

He knew.

_Nonono._

_Fuck._

Kurt turned his head slowly, knowing it would be best to confront Blaine’s inevitable disdain for him sooner rather than later, best to see right away how utterly disgusted Blaine was with him. _Face the music, Kurt._

But a small smile threatened at Blaine’s lips, his eyes sparkling in that way that usually made Kurt’s heart flutter but was _not_ helping at the moment, thank you very little. 

Kurt was frozen. 

There was nothing to say.

He couldn’t lie. He’d been caught.

But he couldn’t admit it.

If he admitted it, then it was true. Then it was _real._

“I... _Ihavetogo,_ ” Kurt managed, scrambling out of the bed and pulling the comforter with him and oh _god,_ his pajama pants were _sticking_ to him and they were so _cold_ and _ew._

Blaine’s small smile turned into a full fledged grin, a goddamn _shit eating_ grin that made exactly _zero_ sense. “Kuuuurt,” he practically cooed. 

Kurt wasn’t having any of it, unable to understand why Blaine could possibly be teasing him. He scrambled around the room, trying to find his things, whatever he needed to go wherever he was going (he’d figure that part out later, he just needed to _be gone)_ , only stopping when he felt the weight of warm hands on his shoulders. 

Blaine slowly pulled Kurt around to face him, seeking out Kurt’s eyes. Blaine’s eyes were warm, and Kurt deflated briefly, taking a breath.

“You’re not going anywhere, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice was soft, a little more serious than moments before. “Calm down. It’s _fine._ ”

Kurt looked at him for a moment, considering.

No. It absolutely _was not fine._

“It absolutely _is not fine. Nothing_ about that is fine. Oh god, we have to file for divorce. How are we going to settle? You can have the apartment, obviously, I have to change my name and leave the country and-”

“We are not getting divorced, Kurt.” Blaine shook his head, a playful glint in his eye. “Yet.”

 _Yet?_ “Yet?” 

“Well...I’ll have to see if I can get that stain out of the comforter first.”

“Not funny.” Kurt shot him a glare, inching back towards their bathroom. _Fuck,_ he needed a shower. One shower, and then he would leave.

Blaine moved towards him, clearly not letting Kurt get away (why wasn’t _Blaine_ trying to get as far away as he possibly could?), his eyes soft again.

“Just take a shower, Kurt. I’ll clean the sheets. It’s fine, really. It happens.”

Oh god, he was _really_ going to miss their shower. Blaine had _just_ installed the shower head of Kurt’s dreams, the one that was a bit of a splurge, but that Blaine had insisted Kurt deserved, and _fuck,_ it was going to suck to live without Blaine (and to live without that shower head, _come on)._

“Fine. I will take a shower,” Kurt leveled, still fully suspicious of Blaine’s _lack_ of suspicion. “But then. Do you think that window still opens? Because I _will_ be climbing out of it. That fire escape may be a little rusty, but there’s no way I can face-”

“ _Kurt.”_

He looked away from the window with a start, and Blaine was _rightthere,_ reaching up to cup Kurt’s face the same way he had countless times. _Fuck._ He was going to miss this. 

“It’s fine. You shower, and I will get these in the wash. Let me do that for you. We’ll change the sheets. Then it’s over. _Seriously,_ Kurt, it’s not a big deal.”

Blaine punctuated his reassurance with a kiss to the corner of Kurt’s mouth, and he couldn’t help but believe him. 

Maybe it wasn’t a big deal.

He still kind of felt like it was a big deal.

He _wet the bed,_ for god’s sake. Kurt Hummel. A full-fledged adult. Wet the bed.

_Ew._

“Fine. I’ll go,” Kurt relented with a sigh. “But we must never see each other again.”

Blaine just smiled.

* * *

A couple hours later, Kurt was tucked into a fresh, dry bed, wearing fresh, dry pajamas, resting in his admittedly not-particularly-fresh (but dry, he supposed) husband’s arms. 

It wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Kurt?” 

He hummed in response, lifting his head to look at his husband.

“What would you do if _I_ wet the bed?” Blaine asked, cocking an eyebrow playfully.

Kurt pondered for a moment, musing the possibilities.

“Yeah…” he began thoughtfully, eyes twinkling playfully. “I’d definitely divorce you.”

Blaine just laughed.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m _so_ compassionate and understanding, then,” he said, grinning down at Kurt. “And good thing I have the bladder of a camel.”

Kurt settled his head down on Blaine’s chest, shifting in his husband's arms.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Good thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> got any schitt's creek scenes in mind that might fit klaine? let me know!


End file.
